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I’ve spent a lot of time working for tips.
Over the years, I’ve been a waiter, cleaned toilets, and even flown around the United States for Snapchat throwing parties and live events.
Some days were unforgettable. Other days were exhausting, and we couldn’t wait for them to end.
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned through all of it, it’s this:
People want connection.
Having an event in Los Angeles for Snap in 2017.
Whether it was hosting events in Los Angeles for Snap in 2017, working in restaurants, or later working as a software engineer overseas, the underlying dynamic was always the same.
No matter the industry, people tend to ask the same questions:
Can I count on this person?
Are they trustworthy?
Will they be someone I can depend on?
I’ve met and worked with people from all over the world now, and those questions never really change.
The daily commute in New Zealand as an immigrant Software Engineer.
Things don’t always have to be perfect, either. Sometimes imperfections create opportunities for something more meaningful.
When I was younger, I looked up to a manager who ran a small restaurant in the suburbs of Orange County. The restaurant mostly employed young college students, while many of the customers were in their 70s and 80s.
The waitress brought her food, checked the boxes, and moved on. Technically, the service was fine.
But when the bill arrived, Peggy waved down the manager and complained.
“This is unacceptable.”
At first glance, it didn’t make much sense. The waitress had done their job.
But the manager understood something deeper.
Peggy had lost her husband years earlier. Her children had moved away. What she really wanted wasn’t just soup — she wanted connection.
So during the middle of a busy lunch rush, the manager brought Peggy a cookie, sat down with her, and simply asked how her day was going.
That was all it took.
Peggy lit up because someone took the time to be human with her.
She had enough money to eat anywhere she wanted, but she kept coming back because she trusted that someone there genuinely cared.
Over the years, I’ve seen this same pattern everywhere.
It doesn’t really matter whether we’re building software, waiting tables, running a business, or creating music tools.
What people remember most is often not just what we did, but how we made them feel.
Connection matters.